you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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