Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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