What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
