Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
