Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
