you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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