The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
