Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
