i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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