Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
