so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
