Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
