I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
