I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
