hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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