I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
