Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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