what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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