69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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