I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
