does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
