i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
