I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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