school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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