i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
