I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
