I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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