Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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