break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
