I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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