there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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