We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
