Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
