Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
