why didn't you poke me back
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
