I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
