UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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