Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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