If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
