it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
NoShamevember. You game?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
