My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
