Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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