you guys were way drunker than both of me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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