girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
