we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Randomize
