last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
now i know why i became what i already was.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
