Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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