I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got inside last night via doggy door
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
