i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
