oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
